He seems to be interested in you and showers you with attention- phone calls, dates, hand holding! You are sensing a shift and, quite frankly, it does not feel good. As a partner, our first response is to try and fix the problem. ” But then he is canceling plans and seems distracted when you hang out.You feel like it is finally happening: you have met the man of your dreams. And so the cycle begins- distance, hurt feelings, questions, tears, distance. (And by that, we really just fixate.) While responding with worrisome questions feels like the right response, many men feel pestered or cornered.
In fact, for a lot of women this is a natural part of a relationship too. For a man, having seasons of drift is totally normal even if he is madly in love with you.
Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable and distance is sometimes a natural response to that fear of closeness.
It starts with a few missed calls and you think, “No big deal, he’s just busy!
The answer is somewhat obvious but counter-intuitive- let him have some space.
So the first step is to remind yourself that these phases in a relationship are normal. For reminders this includes: When we feel rejected, it creates all sorts of emotional responses. When our guy comes back, it is easy to feel resentful and we want to express our hurt.
Rest assured: it is okay to express your feelings because keeping him shouldn’t feel like a game. You can either deepen your connection with him or drive him further away.