Cybernudists

Cybernudists

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A new craze is sweeping the internet during these chilly winter months– people are posing naked for pictures in the snow.

The trend started with two British ladies taking pics of themselves in their bra and panties out in the cold and now it’s snowballed, with all sorts of cyber nudists showing of their wintery shrunken private parts in a futile battle against nature.

” Although I was made painfully aware of how easily New York morals could be corrupted by exquisite beauty when someone stole my stripy Paul Smith shirt while I was in a yoga class (if you happen to spot a particularly limber thief in your ’hood, give me a shout), I was still astonished to see that a slim majority of you would opt for the repercussionless fuck: 51 percent answered yes, nudging out the 49 percent of people with hormonally unmitigated principles.

To get a sense of what kind of dirty flicks are constantly running inside your cerebral IMAXes, I asked you to finish the following sentence: “The person I find myself fantasizing about most is...” And the winner (with 38 percent of the vote): some stranger I had a moment with and never saw again, followed by a coworker (26 percent), someone from my adolescence (21 percent) and lastly, a celebrity (16 percent).

So without further ado, let’s take a look at just how sick and twisted you people really are.

” But I’m sure glad I did: 26 percent of you have gotten eye to eye within the past year, 21 percent within the past month, 19 percent haven’t done it since childhood. Drop the meth, kick that TV evangelist out of your bed and stop pining for the days when political sex scandals included women—we’ve got some serious business to attend to: The results are in from the 2006 sex poll.After some hard-core number crunching, and a detailed analysis of all the filthy nympho-mation you in the “Get Naked” community supplied me with, I’m happy to report that New York can no longer be considered a blue or red state—it is now more of that tapioca color that occurs when spooge dries on a set of 500-thread-count Wamsutta ivory sheets.And 34 percent of you—who claim you’ve never done such a thing—either don’t know how to make the most of your free time or are lying.In another one of those finish-the-sentence jobbers, I wrote, “The sex-related trend I despise the most is...,” to which you responded: piercings of any kind (38 percent), Web-porn obsession (25 percent), ass obsession (21 percent) and, lastly, pubic-hair shaving (15 percent).

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I also posited the following query (fyi: that was my Tim Gunn impression): “Speaking of web-porn, true or false: Somewhere on the Internet there’s a picture of you naked.” Twenty percent of you are cybernudists, and 80 percent of you are ruining the fun of a computer-friendly pubescent child in Kurdistan.

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