One day at the library I came across the book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel Amen, MD.I was fascinated by his description of ADHD and the way it physically affects the brain; it really seemed to describe my husband all the way back to his childhood.Thats why the official name is AD/HD, with a slash, to indicate that the hyperactivity is optional; that its a subtype of a larger condition.My husband has what I call "stealth ADHD" because I always thought he was so relaxed; his eyes werent even ever open all the way when I first met him.
When we first started dating, he used to miss our exit all the time when driving down the freeway in San Diego.
The first time he said it was because he was so excited to have me in the car with him.
I took the book home and said to my husband, "Do you think this could be you? This really makes sense." I have several issues with the name ADHD, as I know a lot of doctors and researchers do too.
First, the "H" for hyperactivity: Most adults dont exhibit these hyperactive symptoms, and because of that a lot of people dont ever consider the fact that they could have this condition.
And I made logical excuses for him: He grew up using the subway; hed learned to drive, in Paris, only the previous year. He was doing really thoughtless things and I knew he wasnt a thoughtless person.
Its not that there werent little red flags everywhere; I just didnt know what they were. We tried counseling, and the therapists just loved to hear our stories: They could tell we loved each other and they were thoroughly entertained by our problems, but they just couldnt give us any good suggestions.