We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.
Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.
But an offer to chat or of an email address right off the bat is a sure turn off.
As we all know, people normally like compliments, but when they’re used as pick-up lines, before you’ve even met in person, they inevitably feel…ew.
Besides, when you tell a woman she’s beautiful, chances are you’re not.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: The word is a perfect case study for our point.
Even more effective are phrases that engage the reader’s own interests, or show you’ve read their profile: , no doubt because of its adverbial meaning of “to a fair degree; moderately” also helps male messages.
As an adjective, it’s a physical compliment, but as an adverb (as in, “I’m pretty good at sports.”) it’s is just another word.
When used as an adverb it actually does very well (a phenomenon we’ll examine in detail below), but as We took a close look at salutations.