LTK: What groundwork did you do to prepare for this book?
Susan Kiner: I interviewed extensively for the book, not confining myself to women or to the over 60.
LTK: How is the dating scene different for those over 60?
Susan Kiner: When we were in high school or college, the competition was limited.
As Tony Soprano would say, "fuggetaboutit." Write them off. However, if the relationship is wonderful - marriage ensues. Learn to use an iron instead of being seen in public resembling an unmade bed. This happens as the ovaries struggle to keep up with the needs of an aging woman's body.
You'll never make it with them because you don't have what they're looking for. It is amazing that even "mature" adults repeat the mistakes of the past. The number of people, men and women, who cite fundamental differences when assessing the reason for a failed marriage, has amazed me. The answer may be loneliness, and the inability to cope with it. They need someone to tell them what to wear, when to get a haircut, or buy new underwear. A man's appearance can make the statement that he respects himself. The symptoms of menopause can result from these changing hormone levels.
There were a finite number of females in the "dating pool." Some of today's potential competition hadn't yet been born. You can converse intelligently on a wide variety of subjects. You can look back with laughter and nostalgia as you reminisce with men your age, older, or even younger.
It's true that certain men prefer the company of women many years their junior. LTK: Do most people in their 60s want a relationship or a fling? That doesn't necessarily mean marriage, just companionship, fun and sex. Every day a new crop of potential "good ones" comes on the market. ''' Susan Kiner: During perimenopause, the months or years prior to menopause, levels of two female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, vary irregularly.
While it may be true that opposites attract, and it has been tried (more than once) and if you found it had no staying power, now is the time to consider someone who is more like you. Susan Kiner: The most often asked question is "Are all the good ones taken? Women who had their uterus removed can use estrogen alone to control her symptoms. One can use a skin patch or vaginal tablet or cream, take a pill, or get an implant, shot, or a vaginal ring insert.
" Recently a cousin complained, "I could have dates every night, but the men down here (in South Florida) are awful. A woman whose uterus is still intact must take progesterone or a progestin (synthetic progesterone) along with the estrogen.
Dissimilarities in background, education, and religion top the list. Some men, who are single after being married most or all of their adult lives, just can't seem to "get it together." They don't seem to be as resilient as women. Even after menopause, when a woman's ovaries make much less estrogen and progesterone, the symptoms may continue.
If you and your ex spouse(s) were from diverse cultural backgrounds, had differing family experiences, differing levels of education, and a different religion, perhaps it is time to re-think what to look for in a new relationship. Menopausal hormone therapy may help control these symptoms.